Ah...That Negative Voice has a lot to answer for!

But do you ever stop to question it or just accept your negative self talk as truth?

There has been much written about psychology and the power of positive thought but is it the answer for you?

Maybe not!

The answer lies in listening.

Listening to you and what your Negative Voice is telling you.

It's fair to say that much of our current problem lies in the past. As children we take on a lot of negative self doubt caused by conditioning and beliefs that others place on us.

So the question is how do we break the cycle?

I believe that we are all capable and able of being the great people we are when we acknowledge and accept the wonderful gifts we bring to the table of life. It is up to each of us to make that journey to acceptance, belief in ourselves and begin the process of connection - to ourselves and others.

There are some wonderful works out there that talk about being in the present - 'The Now' and I fully agree with the premise. However, if you are firmly stuck in a mindset of the past, just how do you get to the now?

Staying in the past has rewards for many of us - whether it's sympathy from others or our right to be surly or acidic after 'all we have been through.'

What's your reason?

Our rewards make it harder to let go. 'Why should I - this happened to me!'

Well okay. If that is your choice I accept your decision to stay in that place. But for you, love, passion and absolute joy will be difficult to come by (which of course supports your view of the world).

But if you're absolutely tired of being in that place and want to make a move to the light of life, read on.

What is asked of you is simple yet the hardest step to take in moving forward. There are many strings that keep us attached to the past - comfort zones and our subconscious patterning automatically keep us there. So, conscious effort is required.

Okay.

Step One - Self Talk

When we start to recognise the Negative Voice we have the ability and power to change our self talk to reflect a more positive and caring attitude to ourselves. Let's look at the following options:

Start to listen to you. Keep score over the next day or so to see how often you have a negative thought about you.
Create a game - whenever you catch the Negative Voice - Aha! Recognise it first, accept it isn’t the truth and then focus on one aspect of you that you are really proud of or simply take a moment to accept and love you.
Each time you recognise the Negative Voice - visualise a symbol of love and peace for you. For instance; the ocean, blue sky, gentle breeze, your child or beautiful puppy.

These are your first steps in recognising and re-educating your mind to support you.

Step Two - Understanding Self

Are you a slave to your emotions or do you decide how events will affect you?

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand how our emotions impact on the way we think, communicate and influence. Emotionally intelligent people create effective working relationships, solve problems and have an increased capacity to identify and manage their own emotions and those of others. It helps us to:

Recognise and manage our own emotions
Recognise and manage emotions in others
Build solid relationships

Self awareness is a critical factor and coaching is a powerful tool in increasing our self awareness.

Step Three - Conditioning and Beliefs

Conditioning plays a big role in our lives. When we believe that the way things have always been done is the right way, it creates a block in our understanding of choice. The way we decide what meaning to put on things is to draw on our beliefs and past thinking patterns.

Use the following questions to test for truth: What else could this mean? What could be another way of doing or looking at this? Questioning helps us to dig deeper to find creative and supportive solutions

You are the creator of how you choose to feel, think and act. Understanding how our conditioning and beliefs affect our enjoyment of life is a starting point. Re-creating our beliefs to support us is the next step in taking charge of you.

Step Four - A Secret Revealed

Here's a secret I learned. Each and every one of us has a moment - it's one quarter of a second to be precise, nevertheless it's a moment. It's a moment where we can choose to disconnect from our immediate reaction and response to:

How do I choose to listen?
To react?
To respond?

It gives us the opportunity to create how we want to respond, what serves us best. Control is in our hands or rather, in our mind. We have the capacity, intelligence, wisdom and foresight to see how this incredibly powerful tool can help us to overcome strong emotions. And, as if by magic, we will feel our power to choose change our thoughts and behaviour to reflect this new us.

Try it. Consciously try it. Give your mind the message on how you want to be.

You are the creator of how you want your life to be. When you choose to honour yourself for all that you are, all that you have achieved, the challenges you have faced, your capabilities and strengths you are on the road to a happy, fulfilling life of peace, joy and love.

Enjoy The Next Step.