Do & Be The Best - Enhance Your Confidence & Self Esteem

We give ourselves such a hard time!

We frequently see others as so much smarter, better looking, thinner, more confident ... and we often turn to others to buoy up confidence in ourselves. And whilst it's great to have positive friends and family to support us, there comes a time when we have only ourselves and our thoughts to get us through.

How is it that we find it easy to see greatness in others yet difficult to recognise and acknowledge our own talents? I'm certain that conditioning and self talk play a vital role. Awareness and the willingness to stop and challenge how we act or react and to recognise and listen closely to the voice in our head (self talk) are the keys.

From birth we have been bombarded with millions of impressions and incidents happening to or around us. Eventually we accept all that there is (all that we think there is) as fact.

When we stop and challenge our patterns of behaviour, we have the ability to change the way we look at things. And "If you change the way you look at things, things change." Dr Wayne Dyer.

It's a simple, effective and life changing way of living in the now - so why don’t we do it?

To be successful, we need to become conscious of our automatic patterning and be willing to challenge our thoughts and behaviour in order to change.

So if you are serious about wanting a better relationship with you - more confidence and better self esteem, here are two simple strategies that you can employ in any situation.

First Step - The Quarter Second Rule

Scientists have proven a delay between the acceptance of stimuli (directions) and action (carrying out directives). It's a quarter of a second. It might not sound much but when used to advantage this tiny quarter of a second opportunity allows us to interrupt our pattern of behaviour. When we interrupt this pattern we have a moment to quickly analyse our conditioned response and how that might help or hinder and so choose what might serve us better - our preferred response.

Here's a simple example; Imagine you have prepared a special dinner for your partner and they are over an hour late. No phone call and you can't contact them? What are you thinking and how do you feel? What will you do and say when they finally arrive home? Will you be angry, stressed and worried or will you pop the dinner on hold, and get on with other things?

Many of us would fall into the first category only to find a simple explanation forthcoming and yet we remain angry, stressed or worried. Think about how many times you have put the wrong meaning on events and all the energy you have wasted.

Can you identify similar circumstances where you have reacted in the same way? What might be a better way for you? Would you prefer to be responsible for your own thoughts? If so, here are a few clues on how to go about it. Ask yourself questions such as; How am I listening? What else could it mean? Is it the truth? How else could I interpret this?

Our mind is an incredibly powerful gift that we have at our command. It's ours to use to complement our existence. No person has more nor less than all there is. It's up to each of us to take control of what we choose to think. Once we become conscious of our patterning habits we have the ability to ask ourselves the questions and then re-create our thoughts and actions. This leads us to the Second Step.

Second Step - Choose your Thoughts

What serves me? What is the best outcome for me? How can I achieve this? What thoughts, emotions and actions will help me in this situation? Choosing the outcome assists in choosing our thought pattern. We are able to tap into our experience, skills and intuition to find creative solutions for all situations that arise.

You may find it difficult to accept that you can effect the change you choose when you first start practicing these steps. Remembering that the mind cannot differentiate fact from fiction, when you continue to practice these steps, without judgement, you will continue towards your preferred outcome.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I shall have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning.”

What are the triggers that you can set in place to help you to recognise and change your thought patterns to be supportive, positive and provide a sense of achievement and peace?

Here are a couple of ideas to get you started:

1. Start to listen to you. Really listen. Begin to recognise and become aware of negative thought patterns. Write them down. Count how many times a day you recognise negative thought patterns.
2. Create a game - when you become aware of a negative thought pattern take the moment to recognise and acknowledge it's just a pattern, a habit and not the truth. Then change your thoughts to remember and celebrate a positive and unique aspect of you.

These are your first steps in recognising and re-educating your mind to support you.

How committed are you to making these new thought processes and patterns a feature of who you choose to be? How will you ensure you stay on track? What more can you do to assist you?

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus said, "Our life is what our thoughts make it."

You have the life you choose when you control what you choose to say, do, feel and be.

Enjoy the journey.

Pamela

Coach and passionate supporter of people reaching for their highest potential, Pamela Harrison has written an innovative series of self coaching e-books that are available at a fraction of the cost of live coaching sessions. Try one - and change your life!